The now

I considered starting at the beginning of this adventure to make sure context was given and to let everyone know just how much we've been through, but I think that would be selfish and I know it would be too long and probably too boring for anyone else to really care.
I start with the now, since that is the most relevant (give or take a few sentences from the past to explain things a little).
First, a description of my house. Right now, my house is half a house. We have undertaken a project ALMOST too big for us. We found this little house in Richmond, Ontario for a really good price, which allowed us to tack on some extra money for renovations. Yes! Excellent! We get a good deal and we get to change it to what we want to live in for X number of years. Amazing how plans change after only 6 months... Now the plan is to renovate as quickly as possibly to get it back on the market for the fall so we can pay off our crippling debt and get on with life... I have a feeling plans will change yet again, what do you think?
This brings me back to a surprisingly mild day in February (and very welcomed!) with half our house gutted and us living in the other half. First thing wrong with this plan, the season! I'm miserable as it is without any crazyness happening around me because I'm one of those need-five-layers-at-all-times-to-keep-from-shivering-uncontrollably type of people during winter.
Luckily I have a very handy husband. And my very handy husband is currently finishing up the everlasting task of drywalling in our new kitchen and living room.
We have a plastic sheet dividing that area of the house and the area we are using to live in. We have a small space where we've managed to fit in everything we need to function (it amazes me how little we actually need to function). In the space right by the plastic sheet (our "entrance" if you like) we have our little round table with 3 chairs against one wall and accross from it we have a mini table with the coffee pot and toaster on it. Next to the table is our fridge, followed by a shelf with dry foods. Then we corner off to a long "bar" where there are cupboards and a bit of "counter" space. Remember those old 70s homes that had everything built in, all made out of wall panelling so it all matched, well it's one of those types of counters. On top of the counter/cupboard we have 3 plastic drawers to keep our cutlery and serving utensils and other smaller gadgety type things, which is sitting on top of our microwave. Next to that we have a hot plate (which takes 30 minutes to boil water by the way) and then of course, the junk corner (it seems there always has to be junk on the counter, even when it's not technically a counter!). We have screws sticking out of the wall to hang our coats on and a cloth bag on the floor to keep our winter accessories in (hats, mits, etc.).
Our bedroom has become our living room, which is also crowded with stuff we couldn't find spots for anywhere else, and of course piles of laundry (that hasn't changed from our non-reno days). Often we'll find little toy cars stuffed under our sheets or under our pillows. We should have a caution! sign. We try to keep Philippe's (2 and a half years old today) room somewhat liveable so he can play in there (which he never wants to anyway, so now I'm wondering why do we do it). Actually, check that, we have our drying rack in there right now with clothes on it, so it's pretty crowded as well.
Then there's the bathroom. Yes, well, I need to choose my words carefully here or I might sound like I'm complaining. The thing is, it isn't just ugly, it's gross! We don't use the cabinet under the sink because there's mold there (we've bleached it, but still...). I'll wipe a kleenex along the floor after just mopping it and it's still finding dirt! The bathtub... I'll have to post a picture of it, words can't explain it, except the colors are like mustard tub and brown pastic on the walls.... yeah. Our only source of running water forces me to be grateful for having running water in the first place. Running water to do dishes with, which consists of me sitting on a little stepping stool and washing the dishes in the tub. At least I don't have to worry about spilling any water over the edge!
I'm thankful for running water for another reason too, cause we've gone without! Not for very long, but we had some piping issues (freezing and bursting, first the hot, then the cold). Jonathan had fixed the hot but wasn't quite done with the cold and had to go to a meeting at church, so I ran a bath for Philippe 2 hours before bath time (with only hot water working) and added 2 trays of ice cubes to end up having a very enjoyable bath time! In addition, someone at the meeting provided the right parts to fix the plumbing, since Home Depot was closed by the time the meeting was over. It all worked out and we're able to shower when we please!
Speaking of water, our laundry room is in the basement, which I don't have the courage to tackle. It's a good thing Jonathan doesn't mind that task, or else our piles of laundry would be dirty instead of clean!
I'm also very thankful for heat, cause we were without heat until right before Christmas. We borrowed some space heaters and had one in Philippe's room, one in the livingroom, one in the dining room and one in the bathroom. It was getting pretty cold near the end though. I can't tell you the exact temperature since we didn't have a thermostat in the house, but I'm sure it was down in the low teens (celsius). We also had one day where, once we had heat, the intake pipe got clogged with snow and the temperature went way down to about 4 or 5 degrees in the house. So now, even though it is still cold to get out of bed, I am thankful that I don't have to wear my snowpants around the house all the time.
My reactions towards this undertaking have been anything from excitement to stress to discouragement to annoyance to hope to claustrophobia to despair. Since I'm talking about "the now", I'll say that right now I'm coping quite well and I'm feeling encouraged and almost excited. We are witnessing the rooms looking more and more like actual rooms instead of a space with insulation and tools everywhere. The tools are still there, but at least the walls are there too.
I think we hit our lowest point last Thursday, so now things are on the up-swing. I'm going to be able to help a bit more than just holding or passing, which has suprisingly been affecting me more than I thought it would. I feel like right now all I'm good for is to vaccum (constantly!) and wash dishes, which I don't even do a good job at either, I'm just too tired (and probably lack of motivation comes into play too). I'm looking forward to picking up a roller and slapping some paint down on those walls. I'm excited to place tiles and see the kitchen cabinets get put in place.
If you asked me if I'll be sad when comes the time to sell the house in the fall, after all our sacrifices and hard work, at first, I might say yes. But then I think about what Jonathan said about it. He said that he never wants to become so attached to our house that it no longer becomes just a shelter for us. Yes he wants it to feel like home and be welcoming for guests and be safe for our kids, but he doesn't want the desire to keep the house to come in the way of freeing us from our debts. When I think of it that way, I'm sure that it's the right move to make.
Stay posted for more stories about my quest through the mess.